Introduction: The strange, generous energy of a house-share
I’ve lived in more households than most people visit in a lifetime. Growing up as the fourth of five in Cork, the idea of living among a crowd never felt crowded or claustrophobic the way a quiet, expensive Dublin bedsit did. Over two decades and 76 housemates across Dublin, Cork, Galway, and even San Francisco, I learned a few rules that transformed chaos into community. Here are the ten lessons I carried with me, each born from a living room floor, a noisy kitchen, and a shared washing-up disaster that ended with laughter and a pact to never let a sink become a monument to procrastination again.
1) Always have a dishwasher: it’s not laziness, it’s social harmony
Dishwashers aren’t about being neat-freaks; they’re about avoiding the dramatic, plate-piled catastrophes that turn a household into a battleground. A spotless sink keeps the peace, prevents petty fights, and preserves the shared joy of opening a cupboard and finding clean forks ready for a late-night snack.
2) Don’t live with just one person
One roommate can become a substitute partner without your consent—and not in a good way. The intensity of proximity can drain the fun and turn every little noise into a hyper-critique. More heads mean more perspectives, less pressure, and a living space that feels like a community rather than a squeeze.
3) Read the omens: when in doubt, leave
Some signs aren’t just quirky; they’re warnings. A home that feels off—like a kitchen dominated by a tense energy or a relationship dynamic that’s teetering on the edge—deserves a rethink. Trust your instincts and don’t wait for a blow-up to decide your next move.
4) Recast misfortune as opportunity
Broken boilers and leaky ceilings are universal house-share moments. Instead of spiraling, use the hiccup as a chance to redirect energy—think extra gym sessions, a stricter chore chart, or a small DIY project. You’ll often realize you can survive a little discomfort while still thriving.
5) A key to your bedroom is a small treasure
Moving in is also about knowing the lay of the land: heating systems, bus routes, and the hidden key to your own door. That key is a symbol of autonomy and safety in a place built on shared spaces and mutual respect.
6) Moving in with friends or romance: tread carefully
Friendships and romance can complicate a household fast. Silence can become a substitute for genuine connection, and a shared space can quickly turn into a test of nerves. If you value the relationships, set boundaries early and communicate openly.
7) Expect misaligned tastes—and plan accordingly
From bong-wielding artists to morning people who are allergic to chaos, mismatched routines can test any living arrangement. A clear, upfront conversation about habits saves you from a Chekhov’s gun moment when you least expect it.
8) Humor is your best roommate
When ceilings sag, floors creak, or an uninvited mouse makes a cameo, a shared joke is the glue. Housemates who laugh together at mishaps become lifelong friends. An annual Eurovision party, a late-night biscuit run, and a willingness to pivot around a rescue mission—these are the rituals that transform a house into a home.
9) Fortune favors the brave
In Dublin and beyond, many chase safety—rent control, a familiar street, a cushion of parental support. But crossing a threshold, facing the discomfort of uncertainty, and taking a calculated risk can lead to growth that staying put never would. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s worth it.
10) Know your exit date—and celebrate reaching it
All good things end. People move on: relationships evolve, friends move abroad, and the group dynamic changes. The moment you know it’s time to leave is also the moment you appreciate what you learned. Moving in with a partner or buying a place are beautiful milestones—but don’t rush past the rollercoaster era of house-sharing, because that era is where some of the best memories are made.
Conclusion: House-sharing as a proving ground for life
Looking back, those 76 people and two decades of shared kitchens weren’t just about getting by; they were about testing limits, building character, and learning to laugh through the chaos. House-sharing isn’t a loser’s game. It’s a training ground for resilience, generosity, and lasting friendships. And if you’re lucky enough to find yourself navigating a crowded kitchen or a creaking staircase, remember: you’re part of a tradition that turns ordinary rooms into extraordinary memories.
Brianna Parkins returns next week.
