Introduction: A lifetime in shared spaces
I’ve always loved living in house-shares. Maybe it’s the memory of growing up as the fourth of five kids in a small Cork town, or the stubborn belief that a crowded home beats a lonely, overpriced bedsit. Over two decades I lived with a staggering 76 people across Dublin, Cork, Galway, and even San Francisco. What followed was not just anecdotes, but a toolkit for turning chaos into community. Here are the ten rules I learned for thriving in a world where the kitchen table is the shared nerve center and every night comes with a side of life’s unpredictable hum.
1) Always have a dishwasher
It’s not laziness; it’s diplomacy. Dirty dishes spark battles, while a machine says, “I’ve got this.” A dishwasher keeps the peace and preserves someone’s sanity after a late shift, a long night, or a party that lasted longer than planned.
2) Don’t live with just one person
One roommate can feel like a romance you didn’t sign up for. Too much closeness, and privacy becomes a rare commodity. A larger house-share, with a rotating cast, preserves boundaries and keeps nerves intact.
3) Read the omens and heed them
Some signs aren’t subtle. A kitchen crucifix and a locked door can foreshadow danger. If a household atmosphere turns ominous, it’s wise to step back — even if that means moving out or seeking help.
4) Recast misfortune as opportunity
When the boiler breaks and fears of eviction loom, frustration can be redirected into practical gains — like a gym session with a hot shower waiting at the end. A problem can become a small victory if you frame it as motivation to move forward.
5) A bedroom key is a hidden treasure
The moment you locate that key, you’ve found a small liberty inside a shared life. Ask about heat, routes, and safety, but also keep an eye out for the little keys that unlock doors — literal and figurative.
6) Be wary of mixing romance and living spaces
Moving in with friends or someone you fancy can start well and end awkwardly. Silence after a misunderstanding is a common casualty if boundaries aren’t clear from the start.
7) Align tastes or brace for upheaval
Your housemates’ habits will clash with yours. A bong-wielding surfer from Donegal or a vegan neighbor might be perfectly decent, but misaligned lifestyles will surface as tension over time. Set expectations early.
8) Humour is the glue
Laughing through leaky ceilings, creaking floorboards, or a mice invasion is how you survive the rough patches. Communities that joke, mock, and pivot together tend to become lifelong friends who’ll fetch biscuits or volunteer to shop for the group at 9 p.m.
9) Fortune favors the brave
In Dublin, many chase the safety of home ownership by waiting it out. But taking a little risk, even when it’s uncomfortable, can accelerate growth. A touch of courage in your 20s or 30s often pays dividends later — even if you don’t see the payoff immediately.
10) Know your exit date
The time comes when you outgrow the shared living era. People move on, couples form, and the WhatsApp group stops feeling essential. Celebrating the next chapter — whether a partner, a new home, or a fresh start — isn’t a betrayal of your memories. It’s the natural finale to a wild and wonderful ride.
Conclusion: Share houses, shared memories
House-sharing isn’t a loser’s game; it’s a forge for resilience, humor, and connection. My memories of 76 housemates across multiple cities prove that the rollercoaster era of shared living can shape who you become — for better, and sometimes for the funny, chaotic, and profound. Brianna Parkins may return next week, but the lessons linger: openness, adaptability, humor, and courage make a home out of a crowd.
